Wedding Crashers, Indian style.

A few nights ago, my friends Jennie, Laurna and I crashed a local wedding. Well, it was part crashing and part getting dragged in. The bride is 22 and groom 24, but judging their appearance I would have guessed about 16 and 18. I bonded with the bride’s younger 20 year old sister (again, I would have guessed about 14) and was introduced to the whole family. I was the only one able to get the bride’s mother on the dance floor. We almost made it through a whole song together. I was fed well, danced the night away and even got in a few family photos. I love Indian hospitality.

I met a lady and her daughter a few days ago who were in India to attend a Bollywood wedding, the same wedding that Bill Clinton was in town for (Nini, don’t worry, I cut the newspaper article and photo out for you). I tried to figure out how to crash it, but it was in Bombay and as much as I worship Bill, I couldn’t justify packing up from Rishikesh and trekking half way across the country to do some celebrity stalking. After seeing his picture in the paper, I briefly regretted my choice. It’s great, Bill gets more hype than Bush’s upcoming visit. Reading the newspaper here is so entertaining. The media is completely mocking Bush and anticipating the shock he will be in upon his arrival. The paper was ripping on him and quoted him saying “I have been reading a lot of books on India and really like Indian food.” I can just see him sitting in the Oval Office trying to study a map of India and being briefed by Shyam Saran. It will be Bush’s first visit to India and people are disgusted that he won’t be addressing the parliament of the world’s largest democracy. On a better note, the Ricky Martin concert at the Taj Mahal has been cancelled by the Heritage Department. I can’t believe they would even think of having him perform at a mausoleum. In other headlines, a 7 year old girl married a dog to overcome a family curse.

I am getting really comfortable on the moped, so comfortable I am thinking about getting a motorcycle and riding down to Goa. It is about 2000km, so it would be a long ride, but think of all the adventures? From time to time I get confused about which side of the road I am supposed to drive on. Then I realize there are no traffic rules. The more you use the horn the better. The area i am in is all winding roads, no cars; only cows, mopeds, bikes and pedestrians. Cows and humans are the biggest obstacles. Dogs and monkeys tend to get out your way, and other mopeds are competition. Again, the horn equals power! My friends and I are almost like an Indian family, we can fit 3 people on one moped. Once we can balance 4, we'll really fit in. Again, it's the pedestrians that are the problem. We got into a small accident again today (no, I wasn't driving and it wasn't our fault. It never is, right? ) No major injuries. A street cleaner didn't hear our horn, or choose to ignore it, we were going uphill, too many pedestrians rushing to temple and we before we knew it we lost balance and wiped out. I can tell we are not the first to wreck the moped. Both rear view mirrors are broken and I haven't figured out how they stay attached to the bike.

I decided to go running the other day. The locals didn’t know what to make of me and a few cows tried to chase me. I definitely got some strange looks. People in Rishikesh only really run in times of distress. Next time I won’t cut through town, only back roads.

All the cows are really really fat. It is really sad, they eat all the plastic bags and their belly’s swell up and they often die of hunger. They can’t digest the plastic so they think they are full and starve to death. How sad. After my cooking lessons, we take the vegetable peelings and feed the cows.

Everyone says that India has a strange power over people. They are right! I let my friend Jennie cut my hair. (and yes, we are still friends) She took about 2 inches off. It sure beats my $100+ trims at Bumble and Bumble. I might get another inch or two off later in the week. Baby steps….. I also bought a whole new line of beauty products, 100% natural. I got a nice potion to make my hair grow faster and thicker. Johanna, if it works, I’ll bring a lifetime supply back for us. I have been treating myself to amazing ayurvedic Indian massages. You have anywhere from 2 to 4 girls massaging you at one time. The massages last over two hours.……heaven.